Through My Life's Love Journey

We all have had our fair share of the heartaches and heartbreaks and as funny as it may sound, but I’m actually glad they happened as these times have thought me  a lot about myself, people, love and life in general. No doubt love is great and as a matter of fact, it’s a wonderful feeling but the excruciating pain its ripple effect inflicts on us makes it dame easy to change that smile we once had to an upside down frown, which I believe logically explains why there’s such a thin line between love and hate. However, I am most appreciative of these moments and they are actually one of the major high notes of my journey through life but what I still find hard to explain is how something that brought so much joy can change so quickly to cause us angst and make us cry so badly.

Who am I? I am that guy, that individual, a bad boy turn good and swiftly growing to be the man he was created to be, who hasn’t just been heart broken by women he gave his heart to and loved unconditionally but has also broken a couple hearts to, so I guess that qualifies me to talk about love as I’ve been through it all; the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to the matters of the heart. Growing up as a kid, all I ever wanted was to love unconditionally and sincerely but I still can’t remember how and when I managed to loose myself, my priorities and goals as regards relationships, only to fall in love with a selfish and heartless me, who activated the beast mode in me and hurting a couple pure and innocent soul in the process and just before you castigate and bury me alive, love already did, trust me.

You know, love knows how to fight its own battles and it’s true what they say about karma fighting back and hunting us when we least expect, and that dude if he was human must have hated my guts so badly, as he had a first row seat to my life and never hesitated to pay me an uninvited visit each time I got my hands dirty after a fair game of card. Apparently, I have always had to learn the hard way and hardly got away with anything I did wrong. I have had to pay back in full and double sometimes and that basically explains my recent records of the heartaches and heartbreaks but thanks to grace, I haven’t given up on love and never will. Through my life’s love journey, I have learnt a lot about women, life, love, hate and relationships and I’ve come to understand so much as regards putting my cards plain on the table and keeping my hands clean if I don’t want that same fire I’m igniting through my lies to turn back to burn me.

Love is kind and patient and a loving heart, pure and tolerant, it makes excuses for the one it loves. However, let’s be careful not to abuse its privileges or we watch it turn back real quick and aggressively that is, just like a rattle snake whose tail has just been stepped on. The truth is, for every good heart you allowed to cry attract a million chocolate boxes to another who’s just playing with yours and anticipating the day to say goodbye. Life is a bitch, isn’t it, but so are your words if they don’t percolate with the truth. The way you lay your bed, so you’ll lie in it. If you give me lemons, I’ll bring some vodka and we can mix it up and start a party, that’s what love is meant to be about; helping and complementing each other. You can’t leave others in the dark and expect to be shown the light. If you throw jabs at me, you can be rest assured that there’s someone out there heading your way with a knockout punch.  Whatever you sow is what you reap, period.

You know, I’ve spent quite a number of years as an ignorant kid sagging my pants as I walked through the surface of the earth and most of which I had the choice of dressing right and staying sharp but I chose to act immature regardless. Through these times, I’ve also had the opportunity of finding peace with the old selfless me that wouldn’t hurt a fly but my ego had to meet the tiger in me and that got things pretty messed up. Now what am I trying to say? We are filled with choices each day and solely responsible for the consequences of whatever decision we choose to take. God wouldn’t force His will on us despite being the creator of the universe and neither will life. You are as good as your last decision because that gives birth to the next phase of your life so be careful when making these choices.

I will like to conclude by saying that love happens to define our existence in so much way than we actually think, it is the true essence of life itself and we are nothing without it. Even the creation of the earth and everything in it, which includes us of course, was done out of love and you’re dead the moment you cease to exude it.  However, the funny thing about it all is that there is no manual to how to love, it happens naturally. Any love forced is lust and headed for the bin. Through my life’s love journey, I’ve seen people been cheated on and hated for been too caring and loving, and on the other hand, I’ve seen people been loved and cherished for lying and treating their spouse like a piece of trash, it's just funny, the ways of love. You know, I’ve heard a million definitions to this four letter words I've spent the last couple of minutes talking about, but if only we look deep enough, we would realize that it’s only love that can truly explain itself.  Just be you, be ready and love will find you. True love I say is you finding that part of yourself that says I’m ready. We don’t find true love, true love finds us.

Kay Magnate

The Woman..

The woman who deserves to be my wife will see beyond what others see in me and pick up the shovel with me as we dig a lasting foundation for a love that knows no bound. She will derive joy and pleasure in getting on her kneels to pray for me every morning when she wakes up even before she says, I DO.  My woman, my everything as Patoranking said in one of his songs and with her I plan to spend the rest of my life in holy matrimony, till death do us apart.

She’s a woman of virtue, the type we read about in the bible and definitely not the kind that walks about the place with a sledge hammer and squashing hearts. I like to see her as the reason behind those many heartbreaks because if they didn’t happen, I will probably have ended up with the wrong one. So it’s true what they say that every disappointment is a blessing. And sorry for the hearts I broke as well, guess they weren’t just meant to be and I’m sure you found someone twice the man I was. I’m a king now and only hope this crown leads me to my queen.

Mrs Falaiye, that’s actually not a bad name to inherit if you ask me, but I must warn you that I’ve got pretty amazing sisters so you must be prepared to bring in your ‘A’ game. You know, I have always boasted to end up with a woman they would be proud of and finding someone more prettier than they are will only make me the true son of my father because my mother is fine like that. Anyway, love isn’t just about beauty but the inner glow is what counts, really.

I pray I find someone who loves God more than she will ever love me and bring up our children in the way of the Lord. Like I always say, beauty doesn’t build a home, the presence of God in her does and only pray she remains a pencil in her creator’s hand and allow him paint us a wonderful future. You know I was just trying to update my status on my blackberry messenger when the inspiration for this piece came along and only hope someday we might get to exchange pin and ping our way to each other’s heart.

Love is real, kind and patient and I’m definitely not in haste because we really can’t rush what we want to last forever. It is possible you are already a part of my life and maybe not but time is the true test of love and let’s hope it conquers all. I haven’t been the best guy, trust me but if you must belong to my future, you must be willing to forgive my past. The present is branded and new and so will our love and only the right one can forever keep it fresh like a new pair of Nike shoes just off the box.

I don’t want a love full of webs neither do I ever want us to get entangled in one of those triangles. If we are ever going to do this, let’s be dame sure we do it right. I have seen a couple beautiful romantic love movies that brought me to tears and wishing I played the lead role in a real life situation although I can’t promise to freeze in the cold storm while I put you in the boat to sail into another man’s hands but I can promise not to take you on a love cruise in a sinking ship, we can always choose to fly.

You know, I’ve dated a few amazing women I really liked and lost due to my anger and pride and only hope you are twice the women they were back then because I’m hoping they are all restored back to me all in one now that I’ve traded my aches for beauty and all thanks to the Holy Spirit for partnering with me on this life project that gave me series of sleepless nights when I had to stay up to pray and fast my way to the Lord’s heart and thankfully I received His mercy on a platter of gold.

So I ask, will you be willing to dive into the ocean of love with me if we were swimming with sharks and I don’t mean the vegetarian one, this isn’t the SHARKTALE. This is real and you must be prepared to hustle your way out with me in the midst of those flesh eating creatures because life is deeper than you think and be rest assured that someday our friends would get jealous and think of every way possible to tear us apart, stabbing us in the back and trust me, the least we ever want is to make that blood spill because even if we are lucky enough not to get shewed, the belly of the fish sure isn’t where I would want to learn my lessons, I’m not Jonah.

I am pretty satisfied with the beautiful names my parent gave me and if we were to ever have some connection with a tale in the bible, why don’t we take a trip back to the garden and correct the mistake of centuries ago and refuse to eat the fruit; fruit of lies, deceit, fornication and adultery just to mention a few and let’s choose to remain in love, to be faithful, contented, sincere and above all, heaven driven individuals who would someday build a home for God to dwell in and together we would raise heavenly children for God to work with, while we grow old in each other’s arms and watch the sunset.

By the way, I know there’s no such thing as a perfect wife or a perfect husband but we can choose to believe in ‘FOREVER’ and forever I say is giving one another unlimited chances to love each other every day. Believe in love, love and be loved and that’s exactly what I intend to do when I find my bride. And interestingly enough, I know who I am now and no longer lost in the shadow of myself so I’m not the type to beg for a girl’s love anymore, we are actually just meant to click. You are not doing me a favor, neither am I, we are meant to be partners and work together as a team and it starts with a decision to try.

Kay Magnate

Love Conquers All

Marriage is a legal institution between two people to become husband and wife. Basically, It's a celebration of moments, love and togetherness. However, there must have been a lot of hurdles crossed before this eventually comes to play and this piece of writing has been put together to point at the religion aspect of it and will like you all to sit back and relax, strap your sit belts and journey with me as we look at the possibilities of the coming together of a christian brother and a Muslim sister, who are both dedicated to their respective religion to become husband and wife.

To kick start this engine, I will like us to know that no matter how hard we try to run away from the truth, the fact still remains that Christians and Muslims are one even though we have our different beliefs and ways of doing things and I'll keep sticking it out to you all because we all were created by the same God and of a common goal, regardless. Allah is God and so is Yisa, Jesus so why the favoritism? The same way the Muslims bow their heads in prayers is the same way the celestial churches do and what if there's a difference in how the protestants or even the Christians and Muslims in general go about serving their creator, the fact still remains that we all acknowledge and serve one special God and that I believe supersede all.

It is just sad how we all tend to discriminate against one another and to this effect, the coming together of a Muslim and a Christian to live happily under one roof may seem quite difficult to achieve but definitely not impossible. However, I've seen a lot of Muslim sisters giving up their religious background and beliefs to become one with a christian brother, embracing his religion and dedicating her whole life to what it stands for, all in the name of love but I've not seen or heard of a christian brother giving up all of that to be joined with a Muslim sister to practice Islam and even though I will like to talk more on that but I guess that is a topic for another day.

Apparently, just as there are people who have dedicated their entire life to the practice of Christianity and are worthy of been called Christians, so are there people who are just ordinary church goers and lip coated heaven worshipers and I'm afraid this same scenario plays out in our mosques too, but I'm not here to point fingers to that regard, after all the gospel didn't say you 'MUST' serve Jesus or Mohammed depending on what direction you're looking from, it only says you'll be saved through him 'IF' you do, it's a matter of choice, really.

There are different levels of dedication regarding our religious race on earth as I hurriedly pointed out in the last paragraph and would have loved to take a minute or two to quickly straighten that out because with God, it's either you're hot or cold, there's no place within but then of course as I already said, that's a topic for another day because I'm here to talk about two dedicated individuals, who understands the concepts and have chosen to stay hot, although on a different religious platform and we would be looking at the possibilities of them coming together against all odds to be joined as one in holy matrimony.

Well, it seems like a pretty hard task to achieve considering the fact that they are both dedicated worshipers of their various religion but I know it's not impossible as anything is possible with love and one just needs to keep his fingers crossed and allow the mystery unravel itself. You know, love conquers all and it's accomplish-able but on a condition that speaks volume and that is the measure of love they share. Only true love can withstand all the drama that comes with it, otherwise they will soon fade away like a pair of colored shirt washed with bleach and memories of them tossed into the thin air and blown away to be seen no more.

Only love can stand the true test of time, it never gives up. If you have it, you have everything. It's the only thing that suspends physical laws and so I like to call love a miracle. Love is divine and cannot be underestimated. Initially, there will be argument and misunderstandings that will lead to those long and exhausting fights that will at some point almost kill the wonderful thing they thought they had but if what they share is true and sincere, they would overcome and stand strong against all odds.

Love cannot be broken no matter how hard they try, it's like destiny, it can only be delayed and even if separated, they soon find a way back to each other's arms. I like to call it the biggest test of all time because love always wins, it never goes wrong. Nonetheless, I know it is not going to be an easy fight for them to stay un-separated because we must remember that they aren't the only ones involved in this, the both parent of the aspiring couple alone is enough to impose a lasting threat on their friendship, talk more of their friends, loved ones, counsel from spiritual leaders and family as a whole.

Moreover, let's not forget conflicts of opinion stage-managed by the significance of the difference in religious background also staring at them deep in the eye and the basic truth is that when you put all these into consideration, some would rather just save themselves from the drama than dive into that ocean. Notwithstanding, true love faces that turbulent sea, not minding the strong current they have to swim in and will make it to the shore eventually. Love is simply the beauty of life and with it, anything I repeat is possible. There are no restrictions in love, no limitations and no boundaries, it conquers all. I've seen the blind get married to a beauty queen and also a relationship maintaining its standard, its status, not loosing the love they shared despite one of them been involved in a very fertile accident that took both legs.

Love is a beautiful thing, and like I said earlier, if you have it, you have everything. For it suffereth long, and is kind; Love envieth not; Love Vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. It doth not behave itself unseemly. Seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth; Beareth all things, believe all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. With love, anything is possible and religion I say enthusiastically is not much of a barrier if the two people involved share a sincere and true feeling. No doubt, it will not be an easy sail but eventually, love always win.

Kay Magnate

A Woman's Worth (A Special Dedication)

Women are the most priceless and beautiful creatures gracing the earth and I deem it fit to dedicate this special and carefully written piece to the men for the glorious work done by the king creator himself and I just can't stop wondering what he must have been thinking about when he decided to bring them alive. No doubt, when we look at all the wonderful things that the bible tells us about the creation of the woman and why it came to be, it is safe to summarize it that they were created to complement us but then again, I think that would be me understating the astounding work done through Adam's ribs because they are just too breathtaking and not even words I believe can perfectly explain the awesomeness of what they really stand for.

You know, women are gods on their own and should be worshiped day and night and I hope we understand to what context that is because I hate to be misunderstood. Apparently, they are our mothers regardless of how old they are and when I say women, I mean every female being walking the surface of the earth because that distinct and unmatchable personality was inherited right from the first cry that announced their arrival to the world and into motherhood I must add. The beauty surrounding her being cannot be under-emphasized as they feel the most pain and yet have the prettiest smile, it is just unbelievable how they tend to possess so many amazing functions all in one body, china town must have taken a queue from that.

However, it's heartbreaking how so many underestimate the power of a woman and miss out on the great things embedded in them. The truth is, with them, what you give is what you get so I advice you begin to keep that smile radiated at all times. You can't begin to phantom the million doors a sincere prayer from a joy filled heart of a woman can open in just a matter of seconds and on the other hand, destinies have been truncated by that same tongue, you just have to decide how you want it used, either for you or against you and I admonish you go with the first option.

Ostensibly, the world is designed around them and what life tends to offer you, either good or bad can be traced back to the women in your life and to every successful man comes a lady. You know, it is impossible to hurt the women around you and find favor with men and that implies to the helpers of your destiny. How far you go in life can be determined by the number of ankle chains sweeping the floor while rendering prayers to the Lord and trust me, a prayer from a feminine lip that takes an hour for God to answer can take a month and even more coming from a man under the same circumstances. The power they exude cannot be quantified and though they may seem weak but we can't begin to conceptualize how heaven is moved by a drop of their tears.

I bless the day I was born into this world by an astonishing woman I call mother and you should feel the same if you understand the miracle surrounding your birth. I mean, we can't conjure up the unbearable pain they go through in that labor room and not forgetting the nine month duration of carrying and nurturing us in their tummy, so let's take a moment each day to hug and kiss, thanking them for showering us with so much love and a care that knows no bound. It's a wonderful feeling to be wrapped around their arms and that warm good night kiss that pampers us to bed keeps lingering in our hearts and leaves us wanting for more.

How perfect can our world be without them, it would have just been another male boarding school without a feminine touch gracing our slum books and if I'm allowed to just go ahead to hit the nail in the head, emphasizing a true opinion, then I'll enthusiastically attest without stuttering to how miserable we would have been without them. Basically, they are angels sent to us from God and they could also be our worst nightmare depending on the path we choose to travel when on a life adventure with them. They love to be pampered, loved, cared for and totally appreciated. You know the whole 'TLC' thing; Tender, Love & Care, that's a part of their initials you don't want to miss out tattooing their names to your world.

Now, may I conclude by saying that knowing a woman's worth starts with knowing yourself, if you really know who you are, you can never go wrong in your dealings with them. Love and cherish them because they are the pillars of our wealth and home. They love attention and here is a couple dollars I'm giving out so you can pay for some. Don't neglect her rights and welcome her contribution because they see beyond our greatest imagination, trust me. Never raise your hands on them or mark the day you do as the day you became cursed. There are just somethings that are unforgivable and that happens to top that very list. Never with your own hands chase your wife out of your home or it's as good as you chasing your wealth away. These and many more are secrets of life we may not know but have greatly truncated the destinies of man.

Life is deep and so is the word we speak, be careful not to tango with the negative utterances from the tongue of a broken heart. Quit playing games and start taking blames, let's know two wrongs cannot make a right especially with them. Show me a man moving from city to city exploring and doing great things and I will show you a woman on the altar moving from step to step, trying to get closer to her God, soliciting and holding forth for her man. And whether we like it or not but truly as the song goes, women run the world and someday I hope to find that special woman to complement and help me become the man I was created to be... God bless us all

Kay Magnate

Beautiful Yet Unmarried, Sisters Call.

Marriage is a promise of God to every human walking through the surface of the earth, for the bible tells us that man will one day come together with his woman to become one. That is a set out fact but these days, it is really becoming alarming how our ladies are staying single at their thirties and one can only but wonder why a pride of the future has become a pain engraved in the heart of our sisters. Well, I hope I don't get to offend a lot of people writing this but if eventually I do, reaching out to the selected few God has ordained this piece for is my feel good sip from the drink inspiration has brought to the table this day.

No doubt, the truth is bitter but that wouldn't stop me from expressing my sincere thought about a particular subject matter at any given point in time because I'm only a servant carrying out his master's cause and like they always say, one only fears who sent him and not who he's been sent to. And on that note, I cordially invite you all to a moment of truth, sponsored and brought together by the bleed-ings of an heavenly pen wetting my pages and hope we all let our guards down for a minute or two and not allow pride deprive us from seeking the truth and living by it, for only the truth they say shall set us free.

And with that said, I will like to take a step further by hitting the nail in the head and whether we like it or not but the fault lies with us and I mean the ladies, this has been specially orchestrated for you. Yea, no doubt you're beautiful but beauty doesn't keep a man, it only attracts him and the moment he gets what he wants, he starts wanting more and not even sex can fulfill the urge for more at that point and that's where your humanly worth as a woman comes to play. I mean, who would choose quantity over quality, your attitude goes a long way in keeping marriage bound relationships and men may seem blind by what they have below their belt but trust me, we actually see beyond the sweat on those sheets.

The truth is, we already know what we want from the very first day and though sometimes we may not be totally clear with our intentions but we definitely have a clear judgement on how we intend going about expressing them. We meet some and out-rightly we just want sex, while we meet some and we're filled with a possibility of a future together and how that story ends falls back to the lady in question and that's where they often miss it. No man and I mean a real man would see an angel and mistake her for a demon but I can boldly beat my chest and say a lady, I mean a real one can see a demon and mistake him for an angel because of misplaced priority and quest for settling for a "ready made man". No one says security isn't good but how much longer because of riches will you keep pushing your partners away and giving in to the lust of men who are just there for the sex, enjoying the moment while they last. Is that why you were created so wonderfully and yet so beautifully?

Now let's talk about those who are so picky and waiting for their prince charming till all the princes in the world become kings and give birth to princes who also with time become kings, they seem to forget that time is fast running out on them and the older they become, the lower the price tag on them. Time waits for no body and queens are born into the world each day. The latest statistics shows that about hundred girls are born for every hundred and five boys in most industrialized countries and it's funny how fast the younger generation develop these days and you will be amazed the type of butt you'll find on a thirteen year old and I wonder if this is a world one throws away her options for a possibility that may never be possible.

And some on the other hand are just too busy engaging and loving their career and that only gives room to questions been asked of whether they intend heading to their jeweler to cut a diamond piece with which they intend engaging themselves with and will eventually tie the knot. The world has just gone totally crazy and we are no longer going by the commands of the scripture and most women out there wants to be her own boss forgetting that no matter how successful or independent you may be, your assets and degrees can never fill the void of companionship and someday your body and nature comes calling and trust me, your fat checks and big budgets won't be there to hug and kiss you at night when you yawn for that touch.

Finally, this goes out to those already overdue and are always in the church seeking a partner and I hate to break it to you but the miracle isn't in the church, the miracle starts with you. Gone are those days where we find the good guys and ladies in the church. These days, although sad but true, our churches are filled with wolves in human skin and like a friend would say, our churches have become hospitals and full of sick people. But then of course, that doesn't mean there are not people with good intentions and pure hearts still within the walls of the church but I ask, why do we ignore our roles and leave it all to God to be the actor, the producer and yet the editor in our own life drama.

I know some critics would still come out twisting my words but when I say somethings that may seem blasphemy, that's because I want us all to stop leaving everything to God and start taking an active role in our own happiness. God is good and great but the actions of us the so called Christians even belittles the God we claim to hold so high. Quit quoting the bible and start living it. Don't abandon your social life for the church, you need both, you just have to be able to balance them adequately. I'm not the type of christian that sees the truth and hide behind the lies we feed to ourselves, twisting the Lord's words and making a fool out of ourselves. If you like, go for every service in the church calendar and attend all the marriage seminal in the world, without impacting a change within yourself, that will only be a waste of time.

The change starts with you, after all, the bible makes us understand that heaven help those who help themselves. Your partner is out there but you need the right qualities and attitude to attract him. Prayer without work is nothing, don't fast yourself to death when you feed on lies. Change your mindset and approach to religion, been a follower of christ doesn't make us slaves to our destiny. Go out and have some fun, meet interesting people and keep positive company. Mix up your company a little bit and have some married friends too. Don't be too picky but at the same time, don't settle for less, you just have to do a good work balancing both. Marriage is the beauty of life, it's the essence for which we were created. Go out and find that wonderful man but first, look inward and find that wonderful lady. God bless !

Kay Magnate

Wedding, Marriage Or What?

It's about time some truth is said and passed on to the next generation and hope they learn a thing or two. It's heart breaking when I read through the print media and find some alarming stories of how what we claim to be love turns into a social media mess that wasn't even meant to be associated with a third party in the first place. Marriage no doubt is an institution, but only meant to be attended by the husband and wife who exchanged vows, swearing to an everlasting life together. But then, that's not what even breaks my heart the most, what really does is the response to it. I turn on my internet and visit some of my favorite blogs and there it is; fingers been pointed and they blame it all on "Domestic Violence" while the problem on actual fact lies with us.

Truth be said, most people today get married for the wrong reasons. Now tell me how such an institution is suppose to produce good grades when the foundation is faulty. And if I may, I will like to relate that to our educational system because I remember vividly well in my first year where scholars with the highest jamb score couldn't even pass a single arithmetic test. Its just so sad how we lay so much emphasis on the wedding and not the marriage. We are so concerned with what he got stocked in the bank, forgetting it won't be too long before he finds someone just as beautiful and sex satisfying as you.

Well, for me, I will not miss it at the point of marriage because I don't want a wedding that would be "televised" but a marriage that's "scripturised", please excuse my french. And that is, finding that special someone with whom I would some day raise a generation to change the world. My beautiful sisters, It's not about getting married, it's staying married. Don't loose a whole life of happiness for a year or maybe two of fancy clothes and trips to the Bahamas. Take this as a wake up call and let's put an end to domestic violence in our homes. We can and yes we will.

It is time we start getting married for the right reasons because it's only but a matter of time before your home comes crashing down if you marry for the wrong reasons. Sex doesn't guarantee a successful marriage, it only keeps it going for a while and neither can beauty or even riches, it's the combination of it all and a few other unmentioned important element that stands a chance through the fire. And I would have loved to take some time out to straighten that out but that's a topic for another day, however, most importantly, be sure of your sincere feelings for your spouse and don't get carried away by the things he's bringing to the table. The moment he's limited in his supplies, your relationship hits rock bottom if your marriage has been based on material and physical things.

So therefore, take your time to really get to know each other and don't rush anything. Love grows and until you see him as a future you'll rather not live without, keep your calm and while at it, introduce yourself to his flaws and see if it's a partnership that's workable. Forget that part of him that makes you laugh and feel wonderful and worry about what disgust you and see if you can make peace with it. It is until then you're ready to tie that knot and live in holy matrimony. So many of us have gotten it wrong but we can start making amends now. No doubt, money is very important but with the right love and care, you can make him tap into his wealth zone and become the best version of himself. Let's change our approach towards marriage and build Godly homes for God, the future depends on it and it starts with you.

Kay Magnate