Sunday, 14 May 2017

The Testimony Of A Repented, Apologetic Me

God created us so wonderfully and beautifully and not only did He do that but also gave us dominion over everything he made; both on land, in the air and under the sea. However, many of us have decided to recreate ourselves due to some earthly factors that are swiftly beginning to lead us astray, with selfish innovations having to top that very list but after a careful and critical analysis of the true essence of my creation and what I stand to lose if I perished in my old sinful and lustful ways, I've come to a realization that I've been living a wasteful life and can't afford to spend the very next minute unsure of my eventual end and that orchestrated a change in me and the best thing I've done since my birth was to hit that reset button and today I'm back to my old selfless self that does not only acknowledge but glorifies the Lord and the purpose for which I was created. 

Now many may wonder what inspired the sudden need for a change in me. I mean, why am I just beginning to see the need to fill the vacuum that has been left empty for decades through sin and my lustful desires, why have I been so blind to the fact that I needed God more than He needed me and only just deciding to live righteously after dedicating most of my youthful days to playing the devil's advocate. Well, these and many more out of curiosity would cross our minds but like I always say, it's funny how and when we tend to find God and my story is one of those very funny episodes as love or better still, an heartbreak lead me to God as I remember vividly well how I gave my life to Christ after a breakup that got a grown man crying like a little baby. 

You know, she was young, beautiful, ambitious and very intelligent just to mention a few. As a matter of fact, she had a lorry-load of attributes that a man would die for and that made it so easy to fall in love with her. I was working with an International Holiday company at the time we met and was doing pretty well for myself too. However, I felt unfulfilled regardless and saw a need for a change and the only thing that made sense at the time was to put my creativity in use so I decided to quit my job and sign up for a photography school where my heart had always led me. 

No doubt, I knew it wasn't going to be an easy fit to achieve but I also knew I needed to and had to put in everything I've got; my savings, my time, my heart and my relationship was as stake as well and that imbibed a fear in me but I tried to shake it off, reassuring myself that everything was going to be okay and thank God for His special grace, I was opportune to be accepted into training by one of the best hands in the industry and he mentored me wholeheartedly, at least till the point I gave up and quit like I always did when something seemed too hard and impossible and that's another lesson I'm hoping that you all learn reading this piece because nothing good comes easy and we should never give up on what we believe in, no matter how difficult it may seem to achieve them. The fact that you could start it, you can finish it.

Anyway, back to my story… I started strongly and passionately no doubt but I was beginning to run down on funds after investing so much into acquiring my camera, lenses, paying for transportation in and out of work every day and feeding. It was a very tasking and demanding period for me as I woke up early and worked my butt out each day so as to achieve my goals and make my girlfriend proud but little did I know she had problems with the decision of quitting my job and chasing after something that wasn't visible and realistic, even though she had pretended to be in support initially. But then of course, human will always be human and it's just amazing how God tend to deal with us on a daily without losing His head and yet loving us unconditionally despite our unbearable excesses and that inspires me really. 

You know, she started acting strangely and became so distant and before I knew it, she was out there celebrating her birthday with a new suitor of hers while I stayed on my bed helplessly and sad I must add, because I was low on cash and didn't have the funds to take her out. And as if that wasn't terrible enough, she kept on changing her status on her blackberry messenger knowing fully well that I was on it and will be devastated by it. Apparently, she was already in a relationship with this dude she only just met on Facebook who has been chatting her up and also just got back from Canada and the fact I wasn't where I needed to be financially made it so easy to be tossed into the bin like a piece of trash but yea, she eventually payed for it with a more excruciating heartbreak as she was dumped the second her virginity was taken from her. Good readings….

Meanwhile, I had broken down and almost cried my eyes out before karma came calling and on one faithful evening I decided to take an evening walk to one of my favorite hangouts where I normally get high on my own supply and it was right there I gave my life to Christ while I was puffing on that 'weed' I spent over thirty minutes wrapping due to the state that I was in. I mean, my fingers just kept twinkling as it romanced the rizla. It was that day, the sixth day in the month of June, 2013, a date I still have written on my wall till this very day that I gave my life to Christ in a 'smoke joint' and went on to confess Him on a holy altar just a couple days after because I needed him to console me and help bring back my peace and indeed, He did. And ever since, there has not been any looking back from living aligned to His way, although there are some moment I got carried away but I was quick enough to acknowledge my sins and pray myself back to His loving and merciful hands.  

And with all these said, now I put it out to you, when and what led you to Christ? You know, you don't have to be shy about it. As a matter of fact, you have every reason to be proud of it because that was the best day of your life and should forever be thankful of it. Many have found Christ while locked behind bars, some while lying down helplessly on that hospital bed at the point of death and some were lucky enough to know Him from their youth. However, it really doesn't matter when and how it happened, what really matters is the fact that we know Him, confessed Him and dwelling in Him and only pray that the good Lord continue to give us the grace that we need so as not to backslid and someday we all shall meet and dwell with Him when that trumpet finally sounds. Rejoice!!!

Kay Magnate

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