Through My Life's Love Journey

We all have had our fair share of the heartaches and heartbreaks and as funny as it may sound, but I’m actually glad they happened as these times have thought me  a lot about myself, people, love and life in general. No doubt love is great and as a matter of fact, it’s a wonderful feeling but the excruciating pain its ripple effect inflicts on us makes it dame easy to change that smile we once had to an upside down frown, which I believe logically explains why there’s such a thin line between love and hate. However, I am most appreciative of these moments and they are actually one of the major high notes of my journey through life but what I still find hard to explain is how something that brought so much joy can change so quickly to cause us angst and make us cry so badly.

Who am I? I am that guy, that individual, a bad boy turn good and swiftly growing to be the man he was created to be, who hasn’t just been heart broken by women he gave his heart to and loved unconditionally but has also broken a couple hearts to, so I guess that qualifies me to talk about love as I’ve been through it all; the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to the matters of the heart. Growing up as a kid, all I ever wanted was to love unconditionally and sincerely but I still can’t remember how and when I managed to loose myself, my priorities and goals as regards relationships, only to fall in love with a selfish and heartless me, who activated the beast mode in me and hurting a couple pure and innocent soul in the process and just before you castigate and bury me alive, love already did, trust me.

You know, love knows how to fight its own battles and it’s true what they say about karma fighting back and hunting us when we least expect, and that dude if he was human must have hated my guts so badly, as he had a first row seat to my life and never hesitated to pay me an uninvited visit each time I got my hands dirty after a fair game of card. Apparently, I have always had to learn the hard way and hardly got away with anything I did wrong. I have had to pay back in full and double sometimes and that basically explains my recent records of the heartaches and heartbreaks but thanks to grace, I haven’t given up on love and never will. Through my life’s love journey, I have learnt a lot about women, life, love, hate and relationships and I’ve come to understand so much as regards putting my cards plain on the table and keeping my hands clean if I don’t want that same fire I’m igniting through my lies to turn back to burn me.

Love is kind and patient and a loving heart, pure and tolerant, it makes excuses for the one it loves. However, let’s be careful not to abuse its privileges or we watch it turn back real quick and aggressively that is, just like a rattle snake whose tail has just been stepped on. The truth is, for every good heart you allowed to cry attract a million chocolate boxes to another who’s just playing with yours and anticipating the day to say goodbye. Life is a bitch, isn’t it, but so are your words if they don’t percolate with the truth. The way you lay your bed, so you’ll lie in it. If you give me lemons, I’ll bring some vodka and we can mix it up and start a party, that’s what love is meant to be about; helping and complementing each other. You can’t leave others in the dark and expect to be shown the light. If you throw jabs at me, you can be rest assured that there’s someone out there heading your way with a knockout punch.  Whatever you sow is what you reap, period.

You know, I’ve spent quite a number of years as an ignorant kid sagging my pants as I walked through the surface of the earth and most of which I had the choice of dressing right and staying sharp but I chose to act immature regardless. Through these times, I’ve also had the opportunity of finding peace with the old selfless me that wouldn’t hurt a fly but my ego had to meet the tiger in me and that got things pretty messed up. Now what am I trying to say? We are filled with choices each day and solely responsible for the consequences of whatever decision we choose to take. God wouldn’t force His will on us despite being the creator of the universe and neither will life. You are as good as your last decision because that gives birth to the next phase of your life so be careful when making these choices.

I will like to conclude by saying that love happens to define our existence in so much way than we actually think, it is the true essence of life itself and we are nothing without it. Even the creation of the earth and everything in it, which includes us of course, was done out of love and you’re dead the moment you cease to exude it.  However, the funny thing about it all is that there is no manual to how to love, it happens naturally. Any love forced is lust and headed for the bin. Through my life’s love journey, I’ve seen people been cheated on and hated for been too caring and loving, and on the other hand, I’ve seen people been loved and cherished for lying and treating their spouse like a piece of trash, it's just funny, the ways of love. You know, I’ve heard a million definitions to this four letter words I've spent the last couple of minutes talking about, but if only we look deep enough, we would realize that it’s only love that can truly explain itself.  Just be you, be ready and love will find you. True love I say is you finding that part of yourself that says I’m ready. We don’t find true love, true love finds us.

Kay Magnate

Wedding, Marriage Or What?

It's about time some truth is said and passed on to the next generation and hope they learn a thing or two. It's heart breaking when I read through the print media and find some alarming stories of how what we claim to be love turns into a social media mess that wasn't even meant to be associated with a third party in the first place. Marriage no doubt is an institution, but only meant to be attended by the husband and wife who exchanged vows, swearing to an everlasting life together. But then, that's not what even breaks my heart the most, what really does is the response to it. I turn on my internet and visit some of my favorite blogs and there it is; fingers been pointed and they blame it all on "Domestic Violence" while the problem on actual fact lies with us.

Truth be said, most people today get married for the wrong reasons. Now tell me how such an institution is suppose to produce good grades when the foundation is faulty. And if I may, I will like to relate that to our educational system because I remember vividly well in my first year where scholars with the highest jamb score couldn't even pass a single arithmetic test. Its just so sad how we lay so much emphasis on the wedding and not the marriage. We are so concerned with what he got stocked in the bank, forgetting it won't be too long before he finds someone just as beautiful and sex satisfying as you.

Well, for me, I will not miss it at the point of marriage because I don't want a wedding that would be "televised" but a marriage that's "scripturised", please excuse my french. And that is, finding that special someone with whom I would some day raise a generation to change the world. My beautiful sisters, It's not about getting married, it's staying married. Don't loose a whole life of happiness for a year or maybe two of fancy clothes and trips to the Bahamas. Take this as a wake up call and let's put an end to domestic violence in our homes. We can and yes we will.

It is time we start getting married for the right reasons because it's only but a matter of time before your home comes crashing down if you marry for the wrong reasons. Sex doesn't guarantee a successful marriage, it only keeps it going for a while and neither can beauty or even riches, it's the combination of it all and a few other unmentioned important element that stands a chance through the fire. And I would have loved to take some time out to straighten that out but that's a topic for another day, however, most importantly, be sure of your sincere feelings for your spouse and don't get carried away by the things he's bringing to the table. The moment he's limited in his supplies, your relationship hits rock bottom if your marriage has been based on material and physical things.

So therefore, take your time to really get to know each other and don't rush anything. Love grows and until you see him as a future you'll rather not live without, keep your calm and while at it, introduce yourself to his flaws and see if it's a partnership that's workable. Forget that part of him that makes you laugh and feel wonderful and worry about what disgust you and see if you can make peace with it. It is until then you're ready to tie that knot and live in holy matrimony. So many of us have gotten it wrong but we can start making amends now. No doubt, money is very important but with the right love and care, you can make him tap into his wealth zone and become the best version of himself. Let's change our approach towards marriage and build Godly homes for God, the future depends on it and it starts with you.

Kay Magnate