Through My Life's Love Journey

We all have had our fair share of the heartaches and heartbreaks and as funny as it may sound, but I’m actually glad they happened as these times have thought me  a lot about myself, people, love and life in general. No doubt love is great and as a matter of fact, it’s a wonderful feeling but the excruciating pain its ripple effect inflicts on us makes it dame easy to change that smile we once had to an upside down frown, which I believe logically explains why there’s such a thin line between love and hate. However, I am most appreciative of these moments and they are actually one of the major high notes of my journey through life but what I still find hard to explain is how something that brought so much joy can change so quickly to cause us angst and make us cry so badly.

Who am I? I am that guy, that individual, a bad boy turn good and swiftly growing to be the man he was created to be, who hasn’t just been heart broken by women he gave his heart to and loved unconditionally but has also broken a couple hearts to, so I guess that qualifies me to talk about love as I’ve been through it all; the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to the matters of the heart. Growing up as a kid, all I ever wanted was to love unconditionally and sincerely but I still can’t remember how and when I managed to loose myself, my priorities and goals as regards relationships, only to fall in love with a selfish and heartless me, who activated the beast mode in me and hurting a couple pure and innocent soul in the process and just before you castigate and bury me alive, love already did, trust me.

You know, love knows how to fight its own battles and it’s true what they say about karma fighting back and hunting us when we least expect, and that dude if he was human must have hated my guts so badly, as he had a first row seat to my life and never hesitated to pay me an uninvited visit each time I got my hands dirty after a fair game of card. Apparently, I have always had to learn the hard way and hardly got away with anything I did wrong. I have had to pay back in full and double sometimes and that basically explains my recent records of the heartaches and heartbreaks but thanks to grace, I haven’t given up on love and never will. Through my life’s love journey, I have learnt a lot about women, life, love, hate and relationships and I’ve come to understand so much as regards putting my cards plain on the table and keeping my hands clean if I don’t want that same fire I’m igniting through my lies to turn back to burn me.

Love is kind and patient and a loving heart, pure and tolerant, it makes excuses for the one it loves. However, let’s be careful not to abuse its privileges or we watch it turn back real quick and aggressively that is, just like a rattle snake whose tail has just been stepped on. The truth is, for every good heart you allowed to cry attract a million chocolate boxes to another who’s just playing with yours and anticipating the day to say goodbye. Life is a bitch, isn’t it, but so are your words if they don’t percolate with the truth. The way you lay your bed, so you’ll lie in it. If you give me lemons, I’ll bring some vodka and we can mix it up and start a party, that’s what love is meant to be about; helping and complementing each other. You can’t leave others in the dark and expect to be shown the light. If you throw jabs at me, you can be rest assured that there’s someone out there heading your way with a knockout punch.  Whatever you sow is what you reap, period.

You know, I’ve spent quite a number of years as an ignorant kid sagging my pants as I walked through the surface of the earth and most of which I had the choice of dressing right and staying sharp but I chose to act immature regardless. Through these times, I’ve also had the opportunity of finding peace with the old selfless me that wouldn’t hurt a fly but my ego had to meet the tiger in me and that got things pretty messed up. Now what am I trying to say? We are filled with choices each day and solely responsible for the consequences of whatever decision we choose to take. God wouldn’t force His will on us despite being the creator of the universe and neither will life. You are as good as your last decision because that gives birth to the next phase of your life so be careful when making these choices.

I will like to conclude by saying that love happens to define our existence in so much way than we actually think, it is the true essence of life itself and we are nothing without it. Even the creation of the earth and everything in it, which includes us of course, was done out of love and you’re dead the moment you cease to exude it.  However, the funny thing about it all is that there is no manual to how to love, it happens naturally. Any love forced is lust and headed for the bin. Through my life’s love journey, I’ve seen people been cheated on and hated for been too caring and loving, and on the other hand, I’ve seen people been loved and cherished for lying and treating their spouse like a piece of trash, it's just funny, the ways of love. You know, I’ve heard a million definitions to this four letter words I've spent the last couple of minutes talking about, but if only we look deep enough, we would realize that it’s only love that can truly explain itself.  Just be you, be ready and love will find you. True love I say is you finding that part of yourself that says I’m ready. We don’t find true love, true love finds us.

Kay Magnate