Year 2016... Don't Be Fooled

I'm constantly baffled by the circumstances of life I've been faced with in the past months, let's just say the year 2016 for me as been a journey through life's merry and bitter path on my way to rediscovering self and unravelling God's plan and I must admit I shed a couple tears and maybe frustrated at some junctions but His unending grace and my undying zeal to succeed kept me going till this gracious moment I'm privileged to be gracing these pages. And if it is right for me to say, then without stuttering, I will say I've been through hell and back.

Truly, life is not a bed of roses and though I've grown up being accustomed to this phrase but I guess I'm only just beginning to understand the depth in the simplicity of how it sounds. Life is deep and don't allow yourself for even a mere second to be fooled into thinking otherwise. You're alone in this world and if you're lucky, you just might have your parent and siblings travelling on the same coach with you because our families are not even guaranteed to be trust worthy and dedicated to helping us walk right in life. I mean, I've heard and personally experienced scenarios of life whereby a so-called parent, brother or sister is the one ranging war against the destiny of their own.

It's sad when we begin to look deep into the affairs of life and trust me, the more you see, the less you know. Well, I'm grateful I was blessed with a wonderful family, God bless the woman behind my smile and to you my loving brothers and sisters and not forgetting you too dad, you may be gone for twenty one years but you're still a part of this team. Many at times I almost gave up in life but you kept me going because the thought of not been able to disappoint you all coordinated the motivation to stay on track, putting an extra soul in me. You have always been there for me even though I mostly caused you pain at the initial stage of my youth days when I inherited a misplaced priority from nonchalantness and wrong associations in the university that almost ruined my life but because I am a project that must be accomplished, no matter the change in regime, the allocation is continued and that I'm thankful for.

Seemingly, it's no longer news to you all my regular readers and followers that I had a pretty awful past and sometimes I feel I may be constituting some kind of nuisance on the pages of my writing pad when I take it upon myself to share some of these privileged information I wouldn't trade a billion for because they are actually what defines who I really am, but then again, taking a deeper look at it all, the only nuisance I believe I'll be constituting is to the camps of those affected by my testimonies and those who are obviously still feeding on milk because it takes a certain level of spiritual understanding to swim in the depth of my words so I ask this day that you seek wisdom because there are a lot buried in between those lines.

It may seem to you as a regular story but definitely not a regular interpretation. No doubt, we all have a story to tell but I don't actually tell these stories, they tell themselves through me, so please pay attention for it may not even be talking to you at this particular point in time but to someone next door who you can be a blessing to. The year 2016 has been one of the best year for me, not because I built houses, drove expensive automobiles and took trips to the bahamas. The truth is, I couldn't even step out of Lagos all year long but I fought and won the biggest battles of my life and still fighting and now I can boldly look to the mirror and be a proud reflection of myself and that for me is the definition of a good living.

Some are driving the best cars and living in mansions but don't even know what tomorrow holds for them. They are lost in the moment but I rather fight now and live later. And through this journey, I rose and fell to rise stronger and the farther I go, the more the secrets of life given to me. And on that note, may I quickly take a second as I advice you all never to trust anyone. The truth is, our best friends could be our worst enemies. And as a matter of fact, they mostly are. Well, I thank God for opening my eyes to see the true identity and intentions of people I called friends and I just really think the dictionary should loose that word and have it reinstated as 'FRIENEMIES'. You know, I just can't begin to phantom the evil that men do but all the same, I give God the glory.

Looking back through the year, what can you say are your greatest achievements? Is it the houses you built, the cars you brought or the awards and shows you headlined? The good people of the united states of the world, life is deep, don't be fooled if you presently find yourself walking through wall street and switching trips in those private jets, are you sure you got that paper right or you're one of those desperate brothers fast tracking life so that they can ride in those fancy trucks and fresh out Bentleys, it's only a matter of time when life comes calling and requesting for what you owe, it's always better to wait for God, He's the only one who truly gives wealth, the kind that last forever without future scars and regrets.

No doubt, life is good and we all want the good things but why start what we can't finish. I've seen millionaires end up walking on the streets without a penny to their name and even some end up more pathetic and run mad if they are lucky enough not to find an early grave. A word is enough for the wise, thread softly and don't be too impatient. Stripping a brother off his glory so that you may acquire all the riches in life doesn't make you a 'Red Star General', it only makes you a monster whose story is bound to end very badly. Retrace your steps now that you still can and if you're already too deep into it, well you have a chance to start afresh. I believe greatly in 2017 and with God, you can be free from your past and embraced in the future. I wish you all a merry Christmas in arrears and am very optimistic of a prosperous new year. God bless you all !

Kay Magnate

The College Dropout

Say Cheese, his sister said, joy evident in her voice as the camera clicked away. Kayode was ecstatic, he still had a problem believing it. He had to be dreaming and if he was, he did not want to be awaken. “I have graduated”, he whispered, savouring the words. It rang true and it felt wonderful. He observed his family and friends rejoicing around him with barely concealed joy. Left to him, an intimate celebration with family and a few friends was enough but of course, his family refuted the idea.

He couldn’t fault them though, they were all just so glad for him, but then, who wouldn’t? The story of his life was in summary, a miracle. Who would have thought that the college dropout would amount to anything? Although, it would seem that he hasn’t achieved anything, he felt like he could capture the world and he could even see himself doing just that. If not for him, then for his mother, who at that moment, was looking at him with so much pride. That look always made his world feel alright.

He would never forget the look she gave him about seven years ago when he told her he had dropped out of school. It was full of disappointment and hurt. He promised himself that expression would never be directed at him again. He wanted to make her happy always, he figured he owes her that much. He didn’t think one could be in love with his mother because that’s how he felt about her. Saying he loves her sounds too superficial to describe the way he appreciates her.

She is his strength and he knows his siblings feel the same way about her. How many women recovered so boldly and remained unmarried for the sake of their kids after losing their husband at their prime? Kayode sometimes felt she did not grieve enough for her lost love because she wanted to stay strong for them. She became both parents to them without so much fuss and whatever each of them became, they attributed to her unwavering believe in them.

 Kayode was in junior secondary school when he lost his father and although he would never admit it to anyone, he lost all motivation to succeed. His father had always been his driving force, he did well in school because he wanted his father’s approval. After his father’s demise however, Kayode lost his morale to succeed at something. He figured, “what’s the point?” Unfortunately for him, by the time he realised he was travelling on a dead end, it was too late.

He was already in college studying a course he had absolutely no passion for, moving with the wrong friends and failing woefully. Now that he thinks about it, his admission into the university was a mystery and the situation was too overwhelming for him to do anything but be bad at it. Frequent visit with his faculty examination officer over his grades overstretched him and eventually he gave up.

The first person Kayode opened up to was his immediate younger sister, Sade and for some reason, she understood. But then, he didn’t know why he was surprise, she always seemed to understand him. It was probably because she was closer to him than his elder brother and youngest sister. Sade was the one with him when he finally told his mother and from her reaction that day, Kayode expected nothing less than a disownment. Surprisingly, after a few days of walking on eggshells around the house, she summoned him.

He cannot say exactly what he was hoping to hear from her but the last thing he expected her to say was that she loved him and she believed he could put the past behind him and work on making a future for himself. Kayode couldn’t possibly find the words to explain how he felt that day, all he knew was that was the day he decided the world will hear of him. His mother probably doesn’t know it but those words pushed him to where he is today.

Kayode smiled at the memories as the noise of jubilation geared him back to reality. He knew he still had a long way to go, this is just a stepping stone but he couldn’t help but feel fulfilled. He no longer felt like a disappointment but a success.

The future is uncertain but why does it look brighter? Why did it seem like the world was waiting for him to come contribute his quota? Why does it seem like the sky was beckoning on him to soar?

He did not have the answers to these questions but one thing was clear, He was going to leave his footprints on the sand of time. The world is waiting for the solution to a problem and the college dropout would supply it.

(Inspired By A True Life Story)

Kay Magnate

Why Am I In This Friendship?

Friendship is one of the most familiar words in the dictionary as we all are in a friendship of sort. This stems from the human nature to crave companionship and intimacy. However, as familiar as we seem to be with the word, it is also a word widely misrepresented. A lot of people have been left scarred because of the wrong choice of friend(s) and you hear them say “there are no true friends”. True friendship itself is not a mirage but we seem to have a falsified view about the idea of friendship. I, for one, confide in my friends than I do in my immediate family, yes, we are that close. But closeness is not a determining factor of friendship, intention is. It might sound too simple but it does carry a lot. The simple question, “why am I in this friendship?”.

Wikipedia defines friendship as “a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people”. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, on the other hand, gave a more explicit description, presenting it as “a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other’s sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy”. The recurring point in the definitions stated above is that friendship is a mutually satisfying relationship. In other words, it must involve more than one person and it must be mutual. Now, you hardly see people being friends with themselves except their sanity is questionable. But finding people who are not in mutually satisfying friendship is not a rare sight. Sadly enough, most people are unaware.

The importance of friendship to our lives cannot be overemphasized and that is why we cannot afford to get it wrong. The friends we keep are undoubtedly one of the greatest influences we have, which explains why most often than not, our friends reflect our values. We therefore need to understand that true friendship goes beyond what we see on the surface and those deeper factors are what determines whether it is friendship or an organization.

Friendship is expected to have certain features ranging from sympathy, empathy, honesty, mutual understanding, compassion, trust to the enjoyment of each other’s company, the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement from the friend. On the surface, most friendships do not lack these qualities but on a deeper level, you tend to find insincere intentions masquerading as affection. Any relationship devoid of genuine love and concern for each other and an unrequited friendship is not in the true sense of the word, “friendship” because as established earlier, it involves both parties reciprocating the love, care and concern.

One thing I discovered about friendships is that those that developed by chance/virtue last longer than those borne out of need. Now, need comes in different ways, there is what I call “the innocent need” and “the parasitic need”. Both types of need are dangerous as it destroys the carrier in the innocent need and the host in the parasitic need. The carrier of the innocent need in most cases is unaware and it is found in people who are insecure or love-starved, low esteemed, if you like and they have irresistible desire to feel loved. When they meet someone who is in the least interested in them or vice versa, they stick to that person in desperation.

The outcome is either the recipient is a leech and ends up draining them or that person is nice but in the long run, gets choked up and withdraws. The parasitic need on the other hand, is very aware and sometimes even smug. The need in this instance is usually for money, position or comfort. In both cases, the driving force for such friendship is not love or genuine concern and will ultimately hit the rocks, leaving one party, if not both, hurt.

Friendship developed by chance is usually as a result of common interests or values. These are the kind of friends life toss at you and you find out their craziness matches yours. They become an integral part of your life but its not a need as much as its an enjoyment. They understand you perfectly and even your silence. This kind of friendship is mutually satisfying and there is a sincere enjoyment of each other’s company. However, it should not be mistaken that it must last forever, sometimes, it does fade most probably due to distance in space or time. But unlike the former that ends with hurts and hard feelings, they slowly fade away while their memory lasts forever.

This brings us back to the first question, “why am I in this friendship”? Or “why is my friend with me?”. My best answer will be in the range of an “I don’t know, we just had a connection”. You ask me the kind of person my friend is and I can give you a two volumed book on how great a person he/she is. But why is the person my friend? I can’t seem to explain in words, I am just eternally grateful for the friendship.

Kay Magnate